Feeling My Feet On the Ground

One day last week we made our way over to our friend's house.  This was the first time I had attempted to "exercise" in about a week and it killed me.  My lungs were dying especially when Andi decided five houses was enough and she ready to abandon her scooter and join the others on the stroller.

 It was so nice to be able to hang out with Jenni and the kids and it was such a simple outing which is just what I like these days.  The only problem was Jackson's allergies acted up from the cats and dogs - this boy seems to be getting more and more sensitive and I realize I need to get his epipen refilled.  I'm also going to request more bloodwork when he has his 6 year well check.  But after some benadryl, he was good to go.  On our way home we passed four little plastic chairs - well, remember my lungs??  I was not going to add more weight, albeit two pounds or so, to the weight I was already pushing.  I told Jackson he could have them if he carried them all the way home... he did it!  He shifted the chairs many different time but he never complained and he never gave up.  This determination I know will reward him in the future.  Psh, I think he felt rewarded when he got to set them up for FHE that night.

Cole has now joined us at the table - it has been driving u crazy that his booster/tray wouldn't slide up under the table and so he was always a bit distant.  I finally splurged and got him a new booster which now allows him to scoot in at the table.  He loves it but I'm not sure my table does (he is obsesses, like Andi was, with my protein shakes in the morning). 

When Nikki suggested MM after school Friday, I wasn't so sure I'd muster up the energy to join them all.  We had two activities we had to attend that evening and I have been so tired lately, but with Andrew being available and the weather just gorgeous, we decided to take the kids for the first time.  They were ecstatic.  There's nothing better than living through the excitement and pure joy children bring to an outing. 

 My little man is just that, the "man" of the house.  He immediately takes charge to figure out where we're going and what we're going to do.  It made me smile to see him so excited especially because he had just given me the card he made at school:
"Dear mom I like your meals.  i like when uyu lay (I promise he uses "lie" when he speaks it) down with me.  I like the places u take me.  Love Jackson"

We ultimately followed Nikki but Jackson doesn't know that :)  She took us to the play place with a ton of balls... oh man was Cole in heaven!

Jackson is not much of a thrill seeker.  Ryan is down the middle and Andi is a go getter.  She had so much fun hanging out with Jessica and everyone else while venturing onto any ride available.  Jackson was hesitant; brave but cautious.  Ryan would try it out or sit out depending on the ride but was always content.  Cole did not like the airplane ride but he of course loved the juice and snacks he was given.

All week I have been trying to figure out how to install a splash pad in my backyard.  Then we stumble upon one at Magic Mountain and it reinforced just how awesome it would be to have one.  Turns out it's about $3k and it's so not going to happen :(  But seriously, check out how excited Cole is.  Or better yet, how excited they ALL are.

It really was a nice way to end the week and I am grateful it was possible.  I'm also grateful my husband was around to experience the kids' first time there.  I love that his family, his children, are his number one priority.  There was plenty that needed to be done for work but he recognized that this was something he wouldn't want to miss.  He loves sharing in the kids' joy and for that I am truly grateful.

We left the park at about 5pm and chose to ate outside the gates of overpriced and expensive dining.  We haven't been out, just the six of us, in a long time and it truly felt like a Friday again.  Does that make sense?  TGIF... as a mom with young children that TGIF just doesn't have the same joy but this past week it did.  From there we had to run an errand and then they all dropped me off at the Stake Center for an Activity Day girl's activity.  This activity was to address modesty and standards for 8-11 year old girls.  It's insane it has to be discussed at such a young age but I know it's necessary.  The age at which girls begin eating disorders is mind boggling!  But then I think about it and I was 13/14 when I struggled with my body image.  So sad the perception the world gives on what our bodies should be.  Disgusting, really.
Andrew and the kids were supposed to go to Bishop Eddy's farewell from there, but it was too late and the kids were too sleepy.  Sad thing was my friend's son broke his arm shortly after they arrived at the park.  Man, life truly is crazy.

Totally unrelated... Jackson's favorite color is orange.  Green is second.  Crazy.  I believe green has been THE favorite for a couple years now.  He's growing up :)

One year Two months Six days

He missed me while I was gone.  I missed him.

TOFW Long Beach

Why must one always be exhausted upon returning home from a trip?  Is there a trip out there when you come back fully rested?  Two weeks on an island maybe?  Or maybe one longer than one evening because when you have one evening of freedom, you don't want to sleep, you want to live it up as much as possible.  Regardless of how sleepy I am, and how heavy my eye lids are, I had a great, much needed "me" weekend.

Saturday we were able to head out early enough to enjoy lunch, shopping, and swimming all before TOFW actually started.  I really would have liked to have had all afternoon in the pool or the beach so that will be my plan for my future girl's weekends.

 Once cleaned up we headed over to Jamba to get "dinner" if you will.  It was sort of sad being across the street from Kristal's house and not being able to visit with her.  We really do need to get the family together more often.  Anyway, Jamba was delicious and the company was fabulous as always.  Getting lost on our walk to the convention center not so fabulous.  It's ridiculous that the people working there can be so very confused about the entrance to a big event.  Oh well, it made for some way cute pictures.

Being in a room full of strong, faithful women is quite an empowering experience. Even more so when you add some of the women that have truly impacted my life as of late.  Each one has and continues to teach me so much about life, myself, my children, and God.  I treasure each conversation, each encounter.  It means a lot to me to see them happy and so I am truly grateful for all the laughter this weekend. 

I mean how could you not love a spicy Italian that steals a butter knife just to protect her friends!?!?

The conference ended around 9:45pm and so dinner had to have been over at about 11pm or so.  Not sure but what I do know was at this point I wanted to curl up in a ball and go to sleep.  Yes, I arrived tired and I left tired (just had to go clean up Apple Juice spilled all over the table, oh look, now someone is crying... and why am I tired???)

Despite that exhaustion, I humored Becky and stayed up play Pfelph, or something like that, I have no clue.  Whatever it was I'm glad I did it; I'm glad I had a chance to witness the drill sergeant, straddle the game board, you get the picture.

Saturday morning came way too early - way too early.  One our way over to the convention center we stopped at a Crepe place, the same place Kelsey, Jenna, Kelly and I had lunch on Friday, and enjoyed a million more calories.

 

Saturday morning also brought another joy, Michalle and Lauren were able to join us that day and it was so great to see them.  Again, I am grateful for great women, great examples, in my life.

Think about it, 2,000 LDS women and only four or five restaurants with an 80minute lunch break.  There is no better choice, purely for efficiency, than to dine at Hooters!  I've actually always wanted to try it because I do hear of the great food but man, 1,600 calories for a chicken sandwich you have got to be kidding me.  Oh well, I still enjoyed myself and much needed girl time.  No, not the hooters girls, my friends! 

 That afternoon was the last round of talks.  I was actually sad it was coming to an end and it made me think I should try, soon, to make it to Education Week.  Huh, yeah, a week... maybe a little later than "soon".

 Hilary Weeks hosted a "dance party" and it was so much fun getting up there and feeling the love.  United, with the same purpose...

The trip was a bit chaotic and ended with a lousy "car sick" drive home, but it was a weekend I needed on many different levels.  I'm grateful for the chance we had to talk all the way home (me with my eyes closed, hand over mouth) about the things we learned, pondered, and desired.  I was able to ask these girls questions that had been on my mind and they were able to so beautifully open up my heart and help me to better understand things I have been pondering.  I felt stronger walking out of that car and I felt ready to see my family.  Andrew picked me up and we headed to Acton where our children were playing with their grandparents and great grandparents.  It really was a profound end to it all and I just hope and I pray I can remember the things I learned this weekend.  Yes, I'll still yell and yes, I'll still get ticked (ha, I just did 15 minutes ago), but I hope I can remember my renewed appreciation of all that comes with this stage of my life.  Shoot, maybe I'll even go to another state in the Fall (Sacramento in Sept. or Richfield, UT in Oct. or Arizona in Nov.) and do it again because let's face it, I forget quickly!

Laurel - What Are You Waiting For (http://deseretbook.com/timeout/presenter/15428)

I need to "feel my feet", right now, in my present state.  I am waiting for the business to thrive and financial security to greet us.  I am waiting for Cole to walk, kids to start school, and a chance to work again.  But while I wait, I want to live as though I knew the deadline was soon approaching.  I want to live as though I knew our security would be here next week.  The fact is, you never know how much time you've got and you can't sit here waiting instead of living.  2 Nephi 28:30
Courtesy of Jenna:
"Feel your feet...stay in the present.
Trust the math...Obedience in, blessings out.
Live as if...the promise has already come to pass.
God waits, too...for us to to be ready to receive...to ask boldly for what we need."

Hilary (http://deseretbook.com/timeout/presenter/418)

Hilary was the performer for Saturday and so she shared much to ponder through her songs and brief monologues.  What I really hold on to, though, is the idea that I need to focus on my positive thoughts.  I need to give them credit and they in turn will brighten my mood.  No need to dwell on my "300" negative thoughts a day because that won't get me anywhere; I don't need to give them any power.  She also reminded me that my "beautiful heartbreak" has a purpose and I will strive to live up to that purpose.

Chris - Letting Go (http://deseretbook.com/timeout/presenter/21917)

Chris lost half his family in the blink of an eye and yet, he was able to forgive AND love the kid that was responsible.  You think of all the little things you hold on to and realize how very silly it is.  That's not what God intended, He did not intend for us to carry the burden of anger, bitterness or resent; he intended for us to LET IT GO.  Chris is now a happy family man but how happy would he have been if he held onto the hurt or anger of losing his wife and children.  What a remarkable example of Christ's Love.  Thank you Chris for the good cry and the good wake up call.

DeAnne - What Mothers Forget to Remember (http://deseretbook.com/timeout/presenter/19525)

I forget to remember to slow down.  I forget to remember the legos on the floor aren't the end of the world. I forget to remember that my job is important.  I forget to remember that I don't need to fill out the box "occupation".  I forget to remember I have everything I need.  I forget to remember they're watching every little thing I do or say.  DeAnne, thank you for helping me to remember.

Emily - Saving the Princess (http://deseretbook.com/timeout/presenter/78)

Emily, I was pretty tired by this point but I am so glad it all ended with you.  I laughed, I cried, and thanked you.  What is good?  What can I do to be a catalyst?  I can tell you there's so much more that I could do.  I need to really get back down to the basics and remember my purpose here on earth.  How can I reach outside my comfort zone?  I need to visit those that are inactive despite the fact that it terrifies me.  I need to be willing to stand up for what I believe despite who it is I think I will offend or tick off (dad).  I need to remember it's ok to be different that I chose to be baptized for a reason and I could never doubt the confirmation I received.  What good might be hidden in this trial?  Oh man, put salt into the wound with that one.  I don't do this at all and yet Andrew does.  Which is a reason I chose this man, he has always been the one to remind me to stop and smell the roses.  Two days before conference he reminded me of all we really do have.  All the is important and all we are gaining out of struggling.  Fact is, we can't be strengthened without hard work.  How can I increase my trust in the Lord?  Yep, here I am diving into the ocean with a limb chopped off (did that only make sense in my head??).  These are quite personal even for me, the open book.  What can I do?  How can I bless someone's life with good today?  I strive on a regular basis to let people know I love them, think of them, or are here for them.  And yet I feel my efforts have weakened as I have become more exhausted.  I need to remember it doesn't have to be big, it just has to be done.  I should never be too tired to do good for someone else.

 Because the fact is, I thought of my children when she asked the last question, "Who mught be learning to play the game of life my watching me?".

I feel blessed to have had this weekend and I hope everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did, if not more.  I look forward to next time but I hope that I am not sleepy and I hope that I can laugh without coughing!

Walking??

A day late and a dollar short - the story of our lives and now the story of Cole's.  Yesterday marked his 14th month on earth.  The age of which Ryan accomplished the walking milestone.  At 14 months and 1 day, Cole decided to take his first steps.  Unassisted and gracefully, Cole walked three steps towards me but not a step further.  He was actually quite ticked we asked him to walk again.  Maybe he'll be in a better mood at 14 months 2 days?

Although he was in a great mood moments later when he decided to start a food fight at the dinner table.  

After flaking out on Ryan's Spring Performance, I figured we'd all head out and join him for his field trip on Thursday.  It really is cute watching Ryan in these settings because it's so different from our first experiences; our experiences with Jackson.  Ryan is much more of an observer and he's so patient and kind.

Today my park date was cancelled because of crappy weather... it was just a few days ago that we enjoyed a gorgeous day at the park.  Go figure.  This weather is really messing with us these days.

*All photos are compliments of my children

Cole got his first busted lip - yep, we're there.  Funny thing is he did it again today.  We are dying for this child to walk.  Tomorrow is will be 14 months which is the age in which Ryan walked.  Yep, Cole will be our latest walker which is so odd because we thought for sure he would be motivated to walk early to play with all the others.  Guess not.

This weekend we received a surprise visit from Papa, Cosmo, dad.  The kids were pretty excited to see him and he seemed pretty excited to see them.  Saturday he, Andrew and Curtis loaded up more of their stuff from the Acton house but that evening we had the chance to all go out to Bucca's despite all the work and stress Richard dealt with this weekend.  We were so glad he was up for going out because it really did work out well for our family although I think Curtis wanted to knock out the obnoxious chick behind him.  No joke, this girl had no inside voice!  This being our second time at Bucca's, we have decided that our favorite is the pizza.

After dinner papa treated everyone to a cookie.  Nestle, Tollhouse... any seen that Friends episode???

Being the 5th Sunday of the month, I didn't have to go to a meeting - wahoo!  This made for a fairly relaxing morning; that was until noon hit and bam, it was like 9am church all over again.

Monday, yes I'm almost done, we actually made it to music class.  Turns out, Andi's really into acting out the songs - Ryan, not so much.  Michalle was in charge of story time and she did an ABC book.  Apparently Andi really enjoyed that one because last night she shared her song with us (mind you, she did it almost perfectly before I whipped out the camera - bit of stage fright I'm afraid).

Way to go Michalle, you taught my daughter her "letters" now!
At school Fran began working on a teacher appreciation gift for Mrs. Evans.  The early stages of this gift resulted in a handsome little picture.

With Monday also came some rearranging - I was so happy to come home and see that Andrew had cleaned the house while we were gone (first time ever maybe) and so I was able to organize and launder.  I moved the kids' desk into Jackson's room and he loved it.  He cleaned him room last night before bed, then cleaned it up this morning before school.  All this kid needs is a bit of a change to get the drive for cleanliness. 

 Today he decided this desk was now his office.  When I first "arrived", it was closed.

When he realized he had company, he decided to "open". 

Yes, when you work in an office you must wear a tie.

When we arrived, Jackson asked us what we would like him to do.  To which Andrew replied, "Draw up some plans for a barn style house."  Jackson's ability to be able to pull this off is 100% from Andrew.

Today while I folded, he made a fish bowl.  Jackson found some stones in my craft cupboard, made some fish and taped them to dangle in the "fish tank".

Upon arriving home from school (thanks, Jen), Jackson wanted to wake up Cole so that he could do his "work".  Once Cole woke up on his own, Jackson went in and began updating his calendar.

Just to make sure his office is not disturbed, Jackson set up another office for Andi and Ryan in THEIR room.

Ok, off to the Scouts Pinewood Derby.

Enduring

Jackson's dentist appointment yesterday.  

Ryan's Preschool Spring Performance today.

What do they have in common?  I flaked on both!  I am that woman, standing in a daze watching her life flash before her eyes.  She struggles to get a grip on life but why?  How did this start and when will it end?  It really is bizarre when you look in the mirror and you truly do not recognize the person staring back at you.  Today I actually told a friend things were looking up.  The tender mercy that occurred Friday had me thinking I would snap back.  I guess it doesn't work that way.  It's a process I suppose.  A roller coaster that I will one day look back up and realize the valuable life lessons were worth all the pain and heartache - right??  It's funny, I realize there could be worse things and I realize I am truly blessed, and yet that logic doesn't transfer over to my emotions.  Truly bizarre.  And annoying.  I mean really, I have supportive family close by.  My parents are here to watch the kids from time to time or to just got out and run errands with us.  My friends know me so well and know the minute something is up.  It takes a matter of a couple minutes with them and they know if I need something or simply need to talk.  And my husband is probably the most supportive I know.  So how is it one can allow themselves to feel alone when they clearly aren't? Working on that!  We're also all working on getting healthy again.  

For the second time this year, sickness has hit us.  Ryan got sick Thursday - yep, that fast.  When he told me his ears hurt I called to get him in that day.  2:15 came and we were in the doctor's office finding out that Ryan had strep throat.  Ears were fine, lungs clear, just strep.  Ha, just strep - we've never had strep before but it was here.  Luckily Andrew had gotten home in time to watch the others and so while Ryan and I waited to get his prescription filled, we went out to eat his favorite.  

He hadn't eaten all day and so to see him smiling, upright and eating was a refreshing sight indeed.  Although it didn't take long for him to crash and ask to go home :)

Friday Jackson had his first field trip.  He was so very excited to take a bus to the farm.  This was one of those moments were I was grateful I wasn't at work and was instead able to join him on the field trip.  Then i was even more grateful I didn't have to bring the other three!

On the way there he asked for a drink and I let him have some from my water bottle.  The water bottle I drank out of after have a granola bar with various nuts.  Within seconds of his first swig, he asked if the water was old because his throat felt funny.  It was tightening up by the second so after checking in with the office, we headed back home to get the kid some Benadryl.  He was out of it from then on out but he didn't want to stay home because he didn't want to miss the trip.  Poor kid - what a way to start the morning.  But thank goodness for Benadryl; the little man got to ride the bus afterall.

After the "classroom" experience, we were all able to take a tractor ride out to the strawberry pickin'.  At this point it was getting pretty hot and the kids were hungry but Jackson was still soaking it all up.

The strawberries were out of this world delicious and so what our empty bellies needed.

Fran was a sweetheart and bought the family some strawberries.  The kids totally recognized the quality and ate half the flat within a couple hours.  The kids kept talking about how Fran was their friend!

Again, it was nice to have something Ryan wanted to eat.  I was so happy Andrew stayed home that day because when I left for the farm, Ryan's temperature was still at 101 (better than 104 which is was before Andrew administered a blessing).  And Andi wouldn't leave his side which was appropriate considering she's obsessed with wearing her nightgown all the time.

Shortly after this picture, I joined them.  At this point, I had started getting sick - I thought it was allergies from the farm but if you talk to me right now, you'd know I was getting sick.  This of course was bad timing because we had been looking forward to a fun night with Curtis, Tristan, Matt and Michalle.  And then to our surprise, another friend from High School was there as well, Sean and his wife Jessica.  It was hilarious and considering I worked out so hard all week and I ate well all week, I enjoyed plenty of pizza, chips and soda.  Seriously, such a great night to wrap up our crazy week.

Saturday morning I slept until 9am which was lovely.  I got out of bed when Andrew returned home with the kids.  It was hot - so hot and Ryan was doing pretty well so we decided to head over to the pool as a family.  We all needed this time for various reasons and we were so grateful to those that made it possible :)

Now tell me, what do I do with this girl?  She will only wear "cute" outfits, she often leaves the house without underwear, and she heads out to the pool without her bathing suit.  Challenging chick I tell ya!  But I have no desire to take this spunk out of her - she'll need it no doubt.

That evening Andrew had two softball games so we had to leave the pool, change at home, and head out for the 4pm game.  The kids had so much fun hanging out with some of their friends.  It's crazy what a difference a year will make - last year these games, wait, even the year before that, these games weren't much fun for me.  In some ways, I love that my kids are getting older.  And I love that Jackson knows it's important to document these great moments.

Sunday was like most others.  I'm pretty sure Andi would have worn her nightgown if we let her.  I mean after all, this chick didn't wear any underwear to church.  Oh boy.

But despite my not feeling well, Sharing Time was a lot of fun and that always makes me happy.

The question is, will I make it to my 5:30am boot camp tomorrow!?!?!?  I don't know the answer to that but I do know that when Jackson asked me if I was going to die, I had to give him a good answer.  Yeah, I look that bad!