Wesley

All I could think was, "Why is Andrew calling me so early?"  I mean typically I would have finished getting ready, after all, I had just walked out of the shower, but I chose to pick it up.  He was so weird.  Why was he asking if I had spoken to Shay?  And then, he lost it.  "I think Wes is dead!".  No, what.  What was he thinking?  Once I hung up the phone, I fell to my knees.  I began a prayer, but couldn't finish it.  It was ridiculous.  I didn't need to because let's face it, it was Wes.  He was going to be fine.  He had to be fine.

The day before, Wes called me just to chat.  I remember talking about school, Paige, Andrew, life.  But just incomplete thoughts are all I have left of that conversation.  He had called Andrew that night to tell him how excited he was to graduate soon and apply for Chiro. school.  How could this be.

I made Andrew come home and I am glad he did.  Soon after walking into our room, he received the final call.  He collapsed on the bed.  I can still see it.  I can still feel it.

Four years ago today, we had plans for Thanksgiving.  They quickly changed.  I remember walking into the Anderson home, Cosmo running down the stairs and into my arms crying out, "I'm so sorry.  I don't know what to do."  As I sit here looking at the clock, I am thinking that at this point, where were piled in an RV: Cosmo, Annette, Tori, Ivan, Mya, Zoe, Chris, Andrew, me, Jackson, and (Ryan in my belly).  We laughed, cried, reminisced, pondered, reflected, prayed, CRIED.  In Vegas, I believe, Cosmo and I were outside getting gas.  He asked, "What do I do?"  I can still feel that as well.

Wes was the glue.  Wes was my buddy and one of Andrew's best friends.  We used to call Wes our son because when he lived with us, he would seriously call to see what's for dinner.  He tagged along wherever we went.  He even tagged along on our anniversary.  But we loved him.  We couldn't get rid of him :)  I remember a time I thought he almost got rid of me!  We were driving home from school and he took his truck (Sean Maloney's old truck) through that gigantic dip on Banson.  Well after a good rain, that dip turned into a pool.  I thought that was the end of our lives.  But that sparks another near death experience.  Wes and I decided to race from from Seminary.  He took Ave. V and Ricky and I took Red Rover.  I saw Wes coming and I hit it hard, in the Firebird.  On a bend.  Not a good idea.  Once I got the car straightened out again, Ricky and I just looked at each other, hugged amidst the violent shakes, and said "I love you".  And yes, I blame it all on Wes :)

(*because I lost all my pictures since 2005, this is what I could find on my blog.  But I guess the fact is, I could sit here and put up a million if I had the resources)

Four years.  Four years.  I sat down to write something completely different, but it is what it is.  Each year is slightly different.  This year there were many tears in the morning.  Then life carried on.  Tonight we spent time with family and friends.  We didn't dwell on Wes, but it felt good to be in company of those that loved him too.  We love you Wes.