Dry Eye

Jackson you asked, "Mom, why are your eyes red.  Why do they have red in them?  And they're leaking.  Is it because they're dry?".  The fact that I am even admitting they were tears shows how much I value documenting the little moments with you, my children, because if it were up to me, I would down in history as the girl never known to cry!  Why?  I don't know.  I really don't.

But what I do know is that tonight I learned what I am in your eyes.  A rock.  Certainly not capable of crying.  Is this good or is this bad?  I want to be a comfort to you; to you all.   I want to be that support you will so desperately need in life.  But I do not want you guys to think you can't get sad, or discouraged.  I do not want you to think that to cry is to be weak.

Jackson you are me.  No doubt about it.  I watch you and see just how hard you are on yourself.  To the point where you work yourself up and can't perform to your ability because your nerves have gotten the best of you.  You don't want to let people down.  You don't want to disappoint and you will do what it takes to make sure you don't; you will make yourself sick doing so.  So, I hope that on those days when you feel you have reached your limit, I hope you know you can cry.  I would even venture to say to cry is to feel, and to feel requires strength.

John 14: 17-20  17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

 18 I will not leave you ^acomfortless: I will ^bcome to you.

 19 Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.

 20 At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

P.S. I would prefer to never speak of this again... :)